Interview With The Man Of The Hour

A student of Information Technology from GBTU, Noida (formerly known as UPTU, Lucknow), she is a gizmo freak... She is head-over-heels about astrology and not the everything-is-planned kind of freak, a firm believer of the many unique and wonderful qualities of the different zodiac signs and many other stuff.. Her likes and dislikes are as wide as the amplitude of a pendulum from English classical literature to rock music. She is the blog admin for the blog Let Me Know 

It was a moment every Indian dreams about. (Though I confess it does get quirky with random thoughts in quick succession of you punching the fake smile out of the khadi-clad). Never in my long 20 years have I felt so committed to a task. The fact that I was going to be face-to-face with the ex-CM felt like my moral responsibility towards the nation. I would be shamelessly honest; I had deep respect for the man. After several monumental scams and myriad acquisitions of the gravest intensity, if there was a man who could still walk like he blessed Mother Earth by the virtue of being born it was just this VVIP. Hence, I had no qualms about waiting for four hours for having an “early” morning breakfast with the man; I have nothing better to do, you see.

Me- Wow! 11 a.m., hot sun and you still manage to pull-off dhoti-kurta like a rock star, I mean, like film stars in a role of a politician, er… okay, I mean just like… well, you! How do you do that?

Ex-CM- Fortunately, in India clothes define you and decide how others would behave with you. For example: A man who is fully-dressed gets subjected to exorbitant prices in the market; a woman who shows her knees is molested and a student who wears fancy clothes is not considered well enough for serious studies. So you see, it’s a proper, structured system and I dare not break it. What will the “Junta” think of me if I emerge out of “Gangaji” sans my regular outfit?

Me- Uh…okay. (Thanks for that nightmare-inducing image!) 
You have accused the present CM of taking active part in road development activity. Don’t you think it’s a good deed worth appreciating? (And this has earned you the title of “Man of the hour”, as far as the media is concerned!)

Ex-CM- *Throws arms in the air*
I am sick of this narrow-mindedness of the press.  One person becomes the rag-picker and everyone just follows. My question is: What is good about it? What kind of example is he setting for our elite brigade? My sources in RDA (Road Development Authority) have relentlessly told me how cruel this is! The officials have no money left to gift their wives diamond sets every month. They are thinking of applying for transfers. Where does that leave us?

Me- Hadn’t thought of it this way! *clears throat*
Considering how you were overpowered in this election, what is your next move going to be? What’s your strategy?

Ex-CM- I hate to admit but I was so depressed after these elections that I went to my wife and son in USA for a month! There are times when your 25-year old mistress just doesn’t understand you and you need a lady with experience in handling low self-esteem issues. *sighs* such is life! But then again, with the impractical decisions that this new CM is making, I just have to sit on a couch with popcorn and watch her downfall like a matinee show.

Me- Okay, I am lost. Define “impractical”.

Ex-CM- Keeping a track of MLAs’ expenses, cutting-out their DA (Dearness Allowance) till they actually “perform” (like there is anything like that!), visiting villages after winning elections, if this isn’t impractical then what is? Who does this? Your present CM is a foolish idealist who will fall flat on her face in the next election. After all, the government officers contribute largely to the vote-bank and they will never vote for a minister so fickle that she couldn’t care less about their life-saving under-the-table earnings. And which MLA is going to support her? She refuses funding from the top-notch business houses in exchange for illegal constructions and industrial activities. I don’t understand how she plans to even contest the next elections. It’s all too funny for me!

Me- Good for you!
And here comes my final question: What do you plan to do after winning the next elections?

Ex-CM- *laughs*
Come on! You already know the answer to that! *winks*
Want to come along for my private pool party?

Me- No; Thanks. I got what I wanted.
(The answer to why you lost by 1 Lakh votes in this small state with an approx population of 1.75 lakh!)

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