Bytes And Banter: The News 'Killers'

The thing about 24x7 news channels is that they go on 24x7.

Running all the time is difficult. Running 24x7 and receiving the thrived TRP even tougher. They look for stories and pull them thrice it’s elastic limits.

Cricket is something, which most Indians hold close to their hearts. As such you can always find AajTak, IndiaTV and other cartoon channels showing some irritating bit of news (news? Lol!).

A new cricket match, may it be a test match against Bangladesh, it never remains a mere cricket match. They call it WAR. A foreign tour begins with “Karlo England Fatah!” headlines. If you win it’s not just a win it is “Kangaruo ko Dhool Chatayi!” or “Pakistan ko karaara jawaab”. And if you lose…?

You have my permission to die!

Well to begin with they would get themselves some ~~catchy~~ shitty headlines like a few I saw some days back “Dhoni, ban gaye anhoni?” “Team India ko ‘Bhagwan Sachin’ ka Shrap!” . As if this torture wasn’t enough. You would find jobless ex-cricketers, making a fool of themselves, ~~debating~~ blabbering and screaming, along with comedians like Veena Malik, or even worse Vinod Kambli.

Even when no cricket matches are being played, they have enough content (content? lol!) to run theit show. The stuff, these news channels are really fond of is RETIREMENT. You’ll have big letters flashing on your screen Should Sachin/Sehwag/ <Insert some other 30+ cricketer> retire from ODIs? Hasn’t he played enough? youngsters deserve chance! Selectors show some guts!

Then Vinod Kambli or some other panelist would scream “Sachin Tendulkar’s Test average over the last two years is lower than Rahul Dravid’s and VVS Laxman’s, both now retired. So, he too should retire.” And then the other panelist would scream back at him even louder “Sachin is the best we’ve got, and he should not retire! Gambhir has a lower batting average, he should retire”

Tortured, Troubled and even terrified by this bullshitting let’s assume our XYZ player retires. You’ll find them back at it. Why did XYZ reitre? “Team mein DARAAR?” “ODI se gaye TEST se kab jaoge?” and shit like that.

Tortured and Troubled yet again XYZ would have to retire from test cricket as well.

Dear News Channels we’ve seen enough of it !

But then I feel haven’t we seen enough of everything? Scams, murders, robberies, riots, acid attacks on women, terrorist strikes, bombings, rape and loot, honour killings? Earlier I would be sarcastic about it, or would cling tighter to my 'Things will change feeling'.

But now all this makes me feel really sick and tired. :(