Cricket : When We Look For Entertainment Outside The Game

With India losing almost all recent matches , the public is down and out with screams of "Sack Dhoni", "Sachin shouldn't retire" and what not. The media is no better and is doing what it does best - inciting the plebians (which you can read in our other article -  The News Killers.) But being the optimistic person that I am, I look to other ventures for having fun even when my team is beaten to the ground...

So here are a few things to do when India is losing -

1. Watch the comments space in Cricbuzz : If you expect to see talks of cricket and discussions about strategies to get the batsmen out, then you are sorely mistaken... Not that these don't happen but .. Okay, I'll let the snapshots speak for themselves.

@ukindian101 : Why in the world would you announce this? Just log out and play Ringa Ringa Roses with your daughter...

@kalpit2011 : I have no clue as to what you meant !!!!

@sivasachin : I'm guessing you have tasted quite a lot of balls...

@Zeeshan05 : Yes, you have pin-pointed the problem !!! Taking too many early wickets

@irishgod : So tell me, do you have a recipe for making 'proud, self-esteem and patriotism'...

2. Hear Navjot Singh Sidhu's commentary : On one side we have our Sikh prime minister whom I have never seen speaking and then there is this other Sikh. Seldom has his comments made any sense (at least to me). When he starts speaking it is like firing up a flowerpot and watching the fireworks, it sounds and looks good but at the end you realise that the content is mostly like the end product - ash !!!!

Here are a few excerpts:

Statistics are like mini-skirts, they reveal more than what they hide...

Deep Dasgupta is not a wicket-keeper, but a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.

A fifty is like kissing a virgin, you just have to go on !!!

He hit the ball so high, that it kissed the air-hostess on its way down

They are like bicycles on the cycle stand, one falls and the complete row comes down.  

Mr. Navjot Singh Sidhu.. you are most welcome to join our Phatalogy club :)

3. Watch it with the knowledgable and opinionated Indians : Have you ever watched a cricket match with a room full of oldies. No offense to them , but the constant reference to Gavaskar and Kapil Dev makes me go nuts.

"If only Gavaskar / Kapil Dev were here, they would show the English that we were a force to reckoned with".

There was even one guy who said, "They are playing defensive when they should be playing like Bhuvan from Lagaan.

Or even better watch with antel (code word for intellectual) bengalis in Kolkata.

"Chhi chhi chhi (shame shame) is that how cut is played, if that bhall (ball) would be bowled towards me, I would hit it phor (for) a chhokka (sixer)"."Na na (No No), that bhall should have been pulled not cut. Ai bubaai dekhiye de toh oi ball taakey pull ki bhaabe maarbi. (Hey son, just show your uncle how the pull shot is played)".

And my friend Joy is left standing there like a dumbass with my family looking at him expectedly, hoping to see a perfect copy-book pull shot.