With a plethora of updates hogging my news feed, I feel I have to get rid of these pages or all hope shall be lost of my getting good marks in the mid-semester exams. If you are not able to follow what I am talking about then you must not have heard of the multiple pages being made such as <CollegeName> Confessions, <CollegeName> Compliments, <CollegeName> Bhadaas ... I have also heard that <CollegeName> Proposals is soon to start.
So what is the trick to start such a page?
Step 1 - Come up with some innovative name such as <CollegeName> Depressions / <CollegeName> Obsessions / <CollegeName> Transgressions. Always remember that coming up with these names are not easy and might lead your evil mind to the dark and abusive world which in turn shall reduce your page likes...
Step 2 - Create a lame ass Google Form and pin the URL to the top. Tag it as "ADMIN NOTE" which will actually have no effect as people will just ignore the caps words. This form will enable all the uber cool dudes and wannabe chicks to rush to your page and fill the form with embarrassing incidents, often not of their own. Sometimes just to get the first few people to like your page you might have to post something of your own. It should be controversial so that it becomes the campus' hottest gossip.
Here are a few ideas to go forward with -
If your page is about Confessions - Write about the time when you did wild things after gulping down the entire Blenders Pride bottle. Involving any professor/girl or stuff outside his/her house shall add brownie points to your confession.
If your page is about Compliments / Proposals - Make any sentence involving the phrases "Your blue eyes dazzles me", "When I heard you ask the doubt, my heart skipped a beat" and "The cute childish grin". This without any doubt shall receive multiple likes (from the emo girls) and comments (the forever alone dudes) and you can happily pat your back for a job well done.
Step 3 - After you have successfully received your first few stupid confessions/obsessions/depressions.... Involve a professor too. He would condemn the page and write about how this page brings down the already shabby image of your college. This rumour would cause a wildfire and will generate a 1000 likes in a day.
Step 4 - Keep in mind that a successful entrepreneur takes care of his customers. So if you are in an engineering college your target audience will be the forever alone boys and heavily PMSing girls. The couples will generally give 0 fucks to your page (They are a minority so no need to heed their advice). Keep posting an even balance of cute and vulgar experiences. This keeps you at an even plane with the crowd. Also make sure that you have your group of sarcastic followers who will beat the crap out of any grammatical mistake / factual mistake that the poor guy/gal might have done.
Congratulations !!! You are now ready to lead a life like your favourite superhero. Protecting the confessions/obsessions/oppressions of your college with your secret identity of being the admin and managing a highly controversial College Page.
So what is the trick to start such a page?
Step 1 - Come up with some innovative name such as <CollegeName> Depressions / <CollegeName> Obsessions / <CollegeName> Transgressions. Always remember that coming up with these names are not easy and might lead your evil mind to the dark and abusive world which in turn shall reduce your page likes...
Step 2 - Create a lame ass Google Form and pin the URL to the top. Tag it as "ADMIN NOTE" which will actually have no effect as people will just ignore the caps words. This form will enable all the uber cool dudes and wannabe chicks to rush to your page and fill the form with embarrassing incidents, often not of their own. Sometimes just to get the first few people to like your page you might have to post something of your own. It should be controversial so that it becomes the campus' hottest gossip.
Here are a few ideas to go forward with -
If your page is about Confessions - Write about the time when you did wild things after gulping down the entire Blenders Pride bottle. Involving any professor/girl or stuff outside his/her house shall add brownie points to your confession.
If your page is about Compliments / Proposals - Make any sentence involving the phrases "Your blue eyes dazzles me", "When I heard you ask the doubt, my heart skipped a beat" and "The cute childish grin". This without any doubt shall receive multiple likes (from the emo girls) and comments (the forever alone dudes) and you can happily pat your back for a job well done.
Step 3 - After you have successfully received your first few stupid confessions/obsessions/depressions.... Involve a professor too. He would condemn the page and write about how this page brings down the already shabby image of your college. This rumour would cause a wildfire and will generate a 1000 likes in a day.
Step 4 - Keep in mind that a successful entrepreneur takes care of his customers. So if you are in an engineering college your target audience will be the forever alone boys and heavily PMSing girls. The couples will generally give 0 fucks to your page (They are a minority so no need to heed their advice). Keep posting an even balance of cute and vulgar experiences. This keeps you at an even plane with the crowd. Also make sure that you have your group of sarcastic followers who will beat the crap out of any grammatical mistake / factual mistake that the poor guy/gal might have done.
Congratulations !!! You are now ready to lead a life like your favourite superhero. Protecting the confessions/obsessions/oppressions of your college with your secret identity of being the admin and managing a highly controversial College Page.
Awesome rant, #4 was the best
ReplyDeleteThanks Husain !! :)
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