Drunken Revelry

Disclaimer - This story is semi-fabricated, a part of it is true, the rest is the masala for the readers :P. The characters in it are not real but are moulded from my office colleagues.

"Wake up yaar! We are already late for the office party, all the others are waiting for us neeche (down)". I still remember Rajnee's voice which had brought an end to my blissful sleep. After 10 hours of journey from Hyderabad to Bangalore, I was so tired that I fell asleep even before my head had hit the pillow. I quickly woke my room-partners Padnees and Gutter ( He threw 6 gutters in a row while bowling... what else should we call him ). We suited up and headed downstairs where Gajan and Shakmil were waiting for us. Rajnee and Daniel were the last to come. Rajnee wore a blazer on top of his T-shirt, clearly aiming to compete for the 'Best Dressed Male' in the office party (which he did win later ). We drove away quickly, aiming not to be late for the party .

*** 1 hour later ***

We started off with a vodka shot and by the time the 2 VAT69s were chugged, we were sufficiently buzzed.Sitting by the swimming pool, we ate chicken pieces and listened to the English music that was being played. Soon every single eye was red; in fact we can just contemplate now whether it was from whisky or sleep. Our bakchodi (nonsense) was brought to a halt when there was an announcement that the DJ had finally arrived. We made our way from the swimming pool to the dance floor intent on meeting the "hawt" (as some of my Bangalore friends describe it ) Bangalore crowd there...
Naman Beer Mug
Photo Courtesy - Naman Varshney
In the darkness of the disco, we had no clue with whom we were actually dancing. There were random guys and girls who were too piss drunk to actually care ( or maybe it was the other way around ). Suddenly someone gave me a hard nudge " Bong !!! I want a fag. Get me one", it was Padnees. He was wearing Rajnee's blazer and was sweating like a pig. Being the obedient and frightened intern that I was, I quickly ran to Shakmil at the other end of the room."Shakmil I need a cigarette" I shouted, trying my best to beat the DJ's loud music."But you don't smoke" he bellowed back. By the time I explained Shakmil the actual scenario, Gutter had appeared out of nowhere and said that he would take the fag to Padnees. Relieved that I didn't have to face Padnees again I got out of the disco to get some fresh air.

*** 2 hours later ***

"Sir, dekhiye na Gutter has become unconscious. Please come quickly!!" Jagga, our office admin was frightened. I quickly rallied Rajnee and went to see the huge crowd who were jeering a passed out Gutter. The idiot was sleeping on some lady's purse and had no idea what was going on around him. Rajnee quickly cleared the crowd who were taking Gutter's pictures as if he were a celebrity, while I tried to make him stand up straight along with Shakmil. Together we took Gutter outside only to see him puke a deadly stinking combination of whisky and chicken.

1 down , 6 to go ...

We had to take turns in monitoring Gutter. His shirt was so wet with puke that it was hard to even hold him at the dry places. Sitting next to him, I observed what was going on around me (much like the employees who didn't drink ). Mentally I divided the crowd into 3 categories - the laundiyabaazi party ( they had come only for the girls in the party ), the office leads (the leads of the different division, who were here due to a more official cause than the social cause ) and the talli group ( the people who had come for free daaru ). Watching them was fun for some time but then it soon got boring.

*** 1 hour later ***

At dinner time Gajan offered to take care of Gutter, so thanking him, I took off. It is much more fun to be a performer than a spectator (if you know what I mean). Taking enough chicken biriyani to feed even the Kumabakarna , I wondered where I should go and sit.
There was Daniel who was chatting with 2 total strangers; Gajan, taking care of the passed out soul Gutter and Padnees who sat next to his college friends. Choosing Padnees as my best bet to hear good gossip, I quietly placed myself next to him without him realizing that I had come... Padnees was dropping 90% of the food he was picking with his spoon.I'm not sure he realized that only a tenth of the rice actually went in his mouth as he kept on chewing like a cow. Chatting about random topics with his classmates, his gaze shifted towards Gutter; picking up my glass of water in his hand he stormed off towards Gutter.

Passed Out

"Abey wake up Gutter" he splashed the glassful on Gutter's face." Abey wake up !!!! I haven't even asked my girlfriend to wake up so sweetly".His shouting had drawn the attention of a group of girls who kept giggling and pointing at us. I looked at Gajan for help but he gave me a dazed and starry eyed look; clearly drunk. Embarrassed by the constant giggling, I quickly vanished into the dark ( like Batman ) leaving the red-eyed Gajan, the shouting Padnees and Gutter.

3 down, 4 to go ...

By this time, most of them had finished drinking, in fact there were only 2 people left in the bar - Daniel and Rajnee. From far it looked like they were arguing about something, Daniel shouted "Get that girl right here , I want to dance with her ". I am not sure who that girl was but I'm pretty damn sure that she wouldn't dance with Daniel in that state even if he offered her a million bucks in exchange. Rajnee was not any sane-er " Aiii !!! Chill dude !! Don't waste your time on her, the flower is already plucked".Now this type of talk is common between boys but the way they were swinging to and fro like a pendulum while doing so, wasn't. The HR consultant who overheard them had to specially ask them to keep it quiet lest they hurt that poor girl's feelings.

5 down, 2 to go ...

Shakmil came up from behind and said " Dude, our friends are drunk, some are out , the others are passed out !!! We have to get them home". I couldn't agree more, so I dropped my plate and made arrangements with the cab guy. We loaded the talle group - the passed out one, the arguing ones, the fagger and the red eyed one in the cab and on reaching the hotel laid them on their beds.

Tired, I and Shakmil poured ourselves another peg of Chivas Regal to mark an end to the night. Making a toast to the 'most eventful party' we ever attended, we did a bottoms-up. Being sleep-deprived , I saw Shakmil falling asleep in his chair as my eyes closed too...

And then there were none ...


  1. Must say,was an 'interesting' read ;) n it was quite an adventurous endeavour fr U :)

    1. Ya, It was muxch more fun than I could express in this blog post

  2. looks like .. we will have to sit together for a toast someday soon!!
    Crazy are these talli stories .. all the more when you witness them through naked eyes !!
    I recall .. only last to last night .. my friend was trying to close the gate of the car and had his leg outside ... and when I told him ...he said let it stay here .. lets go !! :D
    I was like bhai ye tera leg hai .. moorge ka nahi jo yehi rakh ke ja sakte :)
    next day .. he does not recall anything !! :D
    Wonder work as usual !!

    1. Yes, we should definitely sit together some day. Crazy stories these are. I ROFLed so hard that my friend sitting beside me was curious as to what I had found so hilarious. Cheers !! ;)

  3. Interesting read indeed..... Loved it.......



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